Few weeks ago, I got a real shock from a good friend of mine, who used to be my ex. It might be the alcohol that wrung an admission from him; he didnt actually say it all out but he sang out the song(we were in a ktv pub with another friend) and asked me to read the lyrics. I didnt know which was worse.
From the title "傷追人", I knew it was nothing good. But I didnt expect it was soooo bad.
作詞：林夕
作曲：側田＠On Your Mark
編曲：Ted Lo/側田＠On Your Mark
本應打九九九可以求助
無奈你不是像持刀傷害我
我到底驚慌什麼
為了分居只好請你留坐
誰料你竟脅持他當陪坐
如像一把掌摑我
知了電腦雜誌 舊信合照
護照尚有一個電爐 欠你這麼多
要他幫手也太絕吧
讓我欣賞他怎羞辱我
＊我最多 把軀殼暫時就當不屬我
麻木去受你 最後重擊一趟
怕什麼 我堅拒為情敵駁火
原來傷懂追我 不必去躲＊
或者他好得必須要炫耀
無奈我的劫後餘生都賠掉
寧願以後不見了
給你大我辱我累我害我話我問我一切事情
已了結清楚
我只想禱告看命運
還能想得出怎虧待我
REPEAT＊
我最多 把軀殼暫時就當不屬我
麻木去受你 最後重擊一趟
怕什麼 我堅拒為情敵駁火
傷口早已忘我 分開得夠清楚
This 4 minutes song felt like the longest 4 minutes of my life, with colour draining off my face every second. My other friend exchanged nervous glances with me while "he" sang. Apparently, that friend was as shocked as I was, for "he" hardly gets sensitive and emotional, being the "cool guy". But our friend told me after the breakup, "he" sang that song frequently for some time.
For awhile, I couldnt understand it at all. It seemed alittle..too....exaggerated. Broke up only mah....why sound so serious..... But it all started to make sense when I recalled that fateful night where we parted after a quarrel and realized we couldnt be friends anymore. He saw how I left with a friend who came to fetch me, who eventually became my bf and then my hubby, Adr.
It was around 8 years ago.
Sigh... at the moment of realization, I felt so bad, so bad, so bad.
He actually thought I had a new guy and that's why I wanted a breakup. And he thought I was showing off when I arranged to meet Adr right after that. God no! Nothing like that. I will never 2-time or ditch a bf for a new guy. And I never thought he will come chase after me and thus saw Adr and misunderstood both of us. It's not that we got something to hide but I also knew it wasnt appropriate. So I arranged to meet Adr somewhere further away, like a 10minutes walk. I never thought he will follow me, worrying that there was no cab around. And for the record, I definitely wasnt seeing Adr then. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW ADR LIKES ME THEN. After 6 months then I know. Yeah, after that we got together. BUT we were only purely friends back then. Talk about clueless...in short, I only know about his feelings after 1 year.
I'm that clueless.
We got together 6 months later after I broke up.
But my ex didnt know. He was so angry then that he shouted nothing pleasant at me when he saw Adr. Alright, he shouted, "You f*cking having an affair right?!" To which, despite I was angry, I did rebutted "WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING?!"
I mean that's the best I can managed being accused of something so degrading and being shouted in public. Of course we never talked since then. But I never knew the misunderstanding carried on for as long as 8 years, causing him so much hurt. I really dont know. It wasnt the most amiable breakup but I thought it was okay because it was kinda mutual? And there is no 3rd party. I NEVER dreamt he thought otherwise!
Years passed and we are now still good friends(1st few years no contact until a mutual friend asked us to play mahjiong together). Maybe I should be glad he said it out, so that I have the chance to clarify. When I said my piece, he was still dubious and said, "Yeah right, and you got attached soon after and then married the next year".
Duhz...ya...married is married. I mean we got hitched quite soon after being together for 1year plus and that is NOT because we started when I was attached! I will never do things like that! In fact, initially, after Adr made his feelings known after I was single for a few months, I said I prefer to stay single because I was enjoying my single life.
I may not be the best girlfriend BUT I have never 2 time anyone in my life.
Anyway, that probably explains why despite my ex and I got back into contact years later, I always have the feeling that he despised me for something. Zzzz. He still treats me well like a good friend lah...but that arrogant attitude....argghhh!
Now I understand why....sigh....
Okay well.....at least the truth comes to light....albeit after 8 years...
That's me. Lazy to explain myself. Thought everyone trusts me and understands how I'm like. Apparently notttttttttttt.
Thinking back, I probably cant be friends with an ex whom I think had ditched me for another girl and presumably, showing off by strutting off with her infront of me. Worse still, married her 1+ year later.
I got to take my hat off him...for his magnanimity....I probably cant do the same. He's single for the past 8 years despite there are ladies who like him(it's not because of me okay, think he didnt meet anyone he likes). I really hope he can find a lady who can bring him happiness. That will be my greatest wish. And of course, friends forever. I will always be there if he needs me.
