Hubby said, "XXX just attended his friend's wedding not long ago....and now he has to attend the funeral...."
I turned around with widened eyes in shock.
"The wife drowned during their Maldives honeymoon while snorkelling...."
Oh my god!! I was so shaken by the news. For awhile, I couldnt speak. I just cant imagine the trauma, shock and grief the husband has to endure. And I told dearie, any accidental deaths, like maybe 6-12months BEFORE or AFTER a wedding will have triple the impact of just other normal deaths.
Then hubby said, staring at me, "So you mean if I die now, you wont be very sad huh because we married for over a year?"
With rolling eyes, I said, "Of course not lah. I mean, of course will still be super super sad, BUT if the death occur like 3 months before a wedding, ON the wedding day or like during the honeymoon, oh my god.....if it's me...I think I will also "follow"(meaning suicide)......
Remember the groom who fell from Hilton Hotel? His grieving wife "followed".....It's super super sad......
I remembered dearie had a Africa trip few months before our wedding and that time SARS was rampant? I dont really remember what kind of danger did it posed....but I was really on tenterhooks then....and I told dearie..."Eh....you...you...dont let anything happen to you leh....I cannot take it one leh...." Eventually he dropped the trip. As much as I think it's kinda wasteful....but really....like I said....that period is really super "fragile"..... If anything happens to him, oh I think my mum will have 1 less daughter too.
Anyway.........the news is here....
Sun, May 12 2013
He took a break from snorkelling with his wife and stood on the other side of a pier in the shallow water, watching her.
For five minutes, his gaze was diverted to a group learning how to scuba dive.
When he next looked back, his wife was gone. As he rushed over, others were bringing her lifeless body back to shore.
Singaporean Irene Soon, 34, drowned last Saturday in a snorkelling accident in the Maldives.
The insurance manager had been there since May 1 for what was meant to be a five-night trip, her husband, Mr Mike Lie, 37, told The New Paper yesterday. It was a trip to celebrate her recent promotion from senior executive to assistant manager.
"She got the idea in February and started preparing in March. She booked the resort, bought tickets, exchanged currency," said the financial consultant .
The couple of two years spent May 2 going to Maldives capital Male for shopping and sightseeing, and decided to snorkel the next two days.
It was going to be their first time snorkelling. Ms Soon was not a strong swimmer.
In the 12 years they had known each other, Mr Lie remembered swimming with her less than 10 times and "she wouldn't do laps, just short distances", he said.
Before I read the article, a friend(XXX) said the husband, who is an insurance agent, showed him their(his and his wife) insurance coverage. Which is obviously alot, so that he's trying to convince my friend to buy more insurance too. XXX obviously felt skeptical and so he brought up this. But dearie and me thought nothing of it because we both have high coverage as we felt it's important and perfectly normal. We simply thought XXX is being overly sensitive.
Next day, dearie told me XXX said the husband posted a formal statement on his facebook page few days after his wife died(4th May 2013). It went something like..."This is to officially declare my wife had passed on...so and so..."
Then dearie looked perplexed with knitted brows....and said, "The wife passed away just recently....isnt he supposed to be grieving.....hmm....passing off such a formal statement....just sounds so weird....."
Then I started to imagine *touch wood* bad stuff.......and I think if it's me...I will probably rot and grieve in my room for months till I turn into seng-mui(sour prunes).....who will care about facebook? Or pass dont-know-what formal statement. Anyway....I merely shrugged and said, "Maybe he talk is like that one lor. Very formal pattern one."
Still......out of curiosity...I googled about the news.....and cant help feeling indignant about it."He took a break from snorkelling with his wife and stood on the other side of a pier in the shallow water, watching her. For five minutes, his gaze was diverted to a group learning how to scuba dive.
When he next looked back, his wife was gone. "
Maybe because I'm a female...not to mention, a very helpless and fragile one, I cant help lamenting to dearie, "How can he not stay close to her and keep her in sight?? Especially when he knows she's not a strong swimmer and it's their first time snorkelling in the SEA with NO life jacket.
We're talking about a life here and quit telling me that "Oh he's in mourning..let's be sensitive bla bla". It's a fact that he is somewhat responsible and somehow I feel he dont love his wife very much....
Even when dearie and me swims in a swimming POOL, although we have some private time doing our own laps, he still tries to stay close to me to keep an eye on me because he knows I'm not a good swimmer. Hell knows I wont drown in a pool with so many people out there but he is just being careful with me. Indeed, it's necessary...because once I just swam and swam along the length of the pool(right in the middle) because I thought the deepest is at the furthest edge(but it's not =(
I didnt want to swim along the breath of the pool because it's shorter, and I dont have googles so I swam with my eyes closed; I dont wish to long4-pia4(bang into the wall). =P I swam as long as I can from 1 edge to the middle of the pool and abruptly stopped when I'm very tired. Suddenly I felt my feet couldnt touch the floor and I simply sank. I got so panicked and swallowed 1 or 2 gulps of water as I totally forgot I know how to swim. (=.=)'''' Thankfully in a matter of SECONDS, dearie scooped me up. =) So sweet.
His first sentence to me(although I was still in fright) --> "有没有英雄救美的感觉?"
ZzzzZzzzzz I was "dying" and he still can joke. Anyway, despite it was a few seconds of struggle, we attracted quite a number of audience and I was super duper paiseh. Imagine the headline being...."Lady swam to the middle of the pool and attempted to drown herself" ZzzZzz Aware of all the eyes around me, I hid my head in dearie's shoulder, clinged to him like a koala to a tree and said, "Faster get me out of here!! Very paiseh!!"
He told me the spot where I sank was around 1.8m already...so he also got to swim abit to scoop me because he's 1.8m only. So scary. I "renewed" my phobia for water. I had great fear for water because I nearly drowned when I was 10. That time was real case, I would have REALLY drowned if I didnt try my best to "struggle" to the edge as I didnt know how to swim that time. Nobody saw me that time, being a weekday in a gigantic pool. It took me many many years for me to learn swimming again but I did.
Water sports are just so dangerous lah. Accidents can happen to experienced swimmers or divers too so usually there's a buddy system. Dearie also dont allow me to do water sports like snorkelling with my friends at Bali because he only trusts himself with me as he feels friends might not be as concerned because well..............see this live example of husband neglecting the wife. You cant fault friends but husband? Definitely at fault!
"She got the idea in February and started preparing in March. She booked the resort, bought tickets, exchanged currency," said the financial consultant."
I simply feel it's sooOoo weird that after the wife died in an accident and all he can say is, "Oh everything is she plan one. She booked this, booked that, exchanged currency. All she book one, not me."
Like what is he trying to say? I mean, this is so trivial but he chose to mention it, with so much details somemore. Is it so important to mention who booked what or who exchanged currency, when your wife DIED???
And I started to imagine *touch wood* bad stuff again.....like if anything happen to dearie on a trip, will I say, "The trip is he plan one. He booked the airtickets, the hotel, the snorkelling actitivity and oh, he exchanged the currency as well."
Isnt this just 莫名其妙?? Please. The least you can care after your dear spouse died is to announce who booked the trip and exchanged the currency.
Somehow he gave me the feeling that he's trying to steer clear of the fact that his wife's death got anything to do with him. It's too deliberate. So it sounds as if he's 心虚(has a guilty conscience). Oh yes and he stood far far away at the shore too when his wife was far away at sea.
I NEVER IMPLY that he might have plan ANYTHING, for ANYTHING.
I'm just saying, I feel he doesnt love his wife very much.
It's just my personal opinion. I dont know the couple. And it's purely some sentiments I had, which are not meant to be misleading to anyone out there.
Poor Irene. Rest in Peace. May you find a more loving husband in your next life who cares more about your safety because he knows he cant live without you. And not one who probably feels he can live very much ok without you and is so logical and clear-headed that he can pass off a formal statement in facebook to declare your demise few days after you died.
Really......if married 20 years.....maybe still believable........a just married couple....on a HONEYMOON with the surviving spouse behaving like that......hard to believe.
Anyway, around a week ago, dearie and I had this funny conversation in the car on the highway.
Hubby: I wonder what's the fastest and easiest way to earn 1 million?
Me: Jam brake now.
Me:(dryly) I never put on seatbelt
Hubby: Oh...ok...wait. Here got speed camera.
Lol. Only couples that close can joke about this. Erm just in case you dont get the joke, I meant, if he jam brake immediately, I will definitely die since I didnt put on seatbelt. And he will get insurance claims from my demise; a sad accidental death. Haha. And when this drowning from snorkelling news came up....we discussed this and that.... And I suddenly looked at him, "I'm not going Maldives with you." (Because we mentioned we wanna go there before it's gone) He then burst out laughing and cheekily replied, "Aiyoooo, dont worry lah, I will take good care of you de!"
Hahahaha. It's funny when a couple is sweet in love. But truly sad if the other party does not think the same way/direction as you think.........
Dearie's coverage should be way more than me I think....but I told him somberly....
I think he was pretty surprised and touched by that statement until he couldnt speak for a few seconds.
But idiot, he never say the same thing back to me. (*&^%$#@$%^&*(*&^%$#