*Edited* Friends or Foes? Buddies or Bitches? How to tell if she treats you as a friend? 15 tips!

I seldom blog about my clubbing scenes because I felt there wasnt anything special worth mentioning. But yesterday I went Shanghai Dolly with a gorgeous friend of mine, she said something which I thought was real sweet, to me.

She said, "You are the ONLY friend whom I really treat as friend. True, I might have many girlfriends but I feel they're mere hypocrites. In front of me, they can act as if we're real good friends but sometimes behind me, I know they're talking stuff about me. They dont like me at all but can act as if they like me very much. It's okay, I treat them the same thing. Only you, you're not like that, you're sincere and I feel you really treat me as a friend and I also feel very close to you. =) " Then she plucked a kiss on my cheek. Haha. Nope, she's not les lah, she got tons of admirers. Nor was she tipsy, maybe she was just having thoughts(感触) after some booze.

In fact, I told her the same thing. "Yeah me too. I also have this kinda girl friends around me. Acting as if they like hanging around me but actually spreading untrue rumors about me behind my back to simply everyone, especially guys. I know they dont like me very much but yet can act as if real buddy-buddy with me, just so they can get into my circle and get to know my guy friends. And once they know them, they'll start to tell them bad stuff about me. And guess what? These guys will come and tell me. It's truly very sad. I also treat you as a true friend of mine because I know you treat me sincerely too. =)"

You see, I'm a super straight-forward person. If I treat you as a friend and simply dont like something which you do(where I'm concerned), I'll definitely tell you. I'm terribly afraid of girls who actually secretly hates somethings you do but yet kept quiet all the way, bearing all the annoyance until it became hatred. For e.g, One day, B told me C actually hates it whenever I tried to persuade her to stay later whenever we're out. Say, she can only stay till 1am but I'll keep coaxed and cajoled her to stay till 3am because it's seldom that we can all come out together(FYI, we only meet about 3-4times a year). Sigh...that's only because I miss her company too much. But from what B told me, C felt it was very inconsiderate of me, because she did have reasons for being unable to stay out late. Reasons she never told me, and she also never told me she dislikes me for always coaxing her to stay till later.

"Why cant Fion be more understanding? She's just so demanding."

"Heart-broken" would be too strong a word, so I'll say I'm disappointed, because I really treat her as my one of close friends. I thought I've been through so much ups and downs with her, tide her over her difficult times but simply wishing her to stay 1 or 2 hours later during our 3 times outings per year is just so difficult to her. This is just 1 example. Anyway, now that I know, of course I wont do it again. However, I wouldnt know if there's another chance again because somehow, I can feel our bond wasnt intact already.

Girls bitch. It's just born in us. Human nature. I bitch too. But in a way, I bitch about facts. Facts, things that happened, not things that I assumed did happen. If you dont have concrete facts then dont bitch about anyone. Ok lah, sometimes I assume some things too. BUT, for things I dare to bitch about behind you, I definitely dare to say infront of you or clarify with you too. And depending on circumstances or when occasions arise, sometimes I do say it out, of course in a joking or teasing manner. If I like you, I'll ask you out, even out alone. If I'm not very close with you, I merely talk lesser to you if we were to meet in groups. What I dont like are girls who clearly dont like you but can act all sisterly friendly with you in groups BUT when both of you are alone(if the others were busy talking etc), she clearly dont even talk to you.

So sometimes I tend to get really disgusted with girls like that and I cant help but complain about this to 1 or 2 guy friends. 1 of them totally understands while the other said I cared too much about what people said behind me. In short, he felt I think too much or making a big hoo-haa like that. But it's actually not as simple as he thought, at least I felt this way. It's not that. I do feel it's annoying that my reputation are being torn to shreds but actually what I care more is about these group of people in my circle, in my life. Whom I clearly dont like but are still loitering in my circle. And I still cant help but say hello and act jovial with them just because it's rude and not nice if I dont "act" the same way back to them. Because if you dont "act" back, people will just ask, "Why? You dont like her?? But she's so friendly and nice to you."

And all this "acting" revolts me, you understand???

I dont like to act. Life is hard enough. I'm in sales. I have to smile to strangers who clearly dont give a damn about me, who thinks I'm as disgusting as a passing fly. I have to smile to some colleagues in the office whom I obviously dont like. And I really wish to take a break when I'm not working.

I'm really thankful for friends who really treat me as friends because of just the way I am and not because I have benefits to offer. I love friends who I can talk to freely, bitch endlessly, jibe each other and nobody will take it to heart or bear ill feelings.

Sometimes, girls can be real competitive and I realized the prettier a girl is, the fewer true friends she has. My friend is really gorgeous, I think it's hard for her to make real friends because well....most girls are just competitive for attention and easily jealous by nature. But I'm not, I'm like a guy. Maybe it's also because I'm not pretty by nature la, so I dont really care about attention or wants to compete for anything. =)

You think you have many good friends?? Buddies or Bitches? Now, think again. Some hides realllllyyyy well.


Here are 15 tips to differentiate buddies from bitches!! 

1) Buddies welcome you into their circle(of course circle which is your clique or which she KNOWS you like and can blend well). Circle of guys and girls. And not just girls only. Bitches always want to join your circle but never bring you to theirs.

2) Buddies take good care of you when you're drunk; making sure you dont drink overboard. Oh well, at least they make sure you get home safely or make sure someone reliable send you home and not just letting any desperate stranger send you back.

3) Buddies dont leak out or indulge in sharing your secrets. If you realized some secrets were been leaked out, then you'll realized some bitches are at work. Please find the right one, find out who's the 1st to spread.

You'll realized, when a bitch knows a secret, she will spread to other girls. Some girls kept quiet while other spread again. Your true buddy will tell you.

Sometimes I cant imagine the stupidity of some bitches. They use their friends' secrets(friends who clearly trusted them. Damn) to trade for friendship with some guys.....to hint them that, "Hey, see I so close with you, this secret also share with you, you're so special to me, that's why." But seriously, you think the guys will think highly of you?? You, who spread your friends' secrets around??? In fact, most guys hate girls who gossip deadly. Most of them, in fact, will tell the victim.

4) Buddies wont be that anxious to attract attention from your beau nor try to seduce your man or the guy you like. On the contrary, if they're usually loud, they will be more quiet than usual to observe your man because they dont wish that you get cheated and your heart broken. Bitches often grab the opportunity whenever you go toilet, like grabbing your beau's arm, whispering in his ear with smiles, staying dangerously close and looking deep into his eyes at close distance etc.

So keep a lookout if possible to see if they behave totally different when you're not around your beau. However, do observe properly and make sure if it's the bitch who is initiative or the bastard who's a flirt. Do not make assumptions.

(Tip# If you want it to be a test to see if it's a bitch or bastard around you, then go ahead. If this man is so important to you and you dont know whether she's a buddy or bitch, then get him to accompany you to the toilet)

5) Buddies wont fall out with you because of guys. Any guys.

6) Buddies will correct you when you're wrong, understands why you may have made a mistake and wont condemn you for life. They will support and encourage you to move on, treating it as a lesson learnt.

7) Buddies will be protective of you, will stand up for you when she felt that you received unfair treatment or when you're being bullied.

8) Buddies will be sensitive of your feelings and wont (deliberately) do things which they know(very well) will make you unhappy. They wont put you down! Nor embarrass you in public just to make themselves look more superior.

9) Buddies wont take you for granted and wont be calculative on money with you.

10) Buddies hear you out, give you advices whenever you need, stand by you no matter which decision you take, and eventually cry together with you when you made the wrong choice.

11) Buddies behaved the same infront of you alone AND in groups while bitches show different face for both.

12) Buddies will never feel jealous of you; and will be happy that you found a great catch or someone who loves you deeply. They're happy when you're happy and sad when you're sad.

13) Buddies wont only find you only when they're sad or just broken up but yet disappear and remain uncontactable(ignoring calls/msgs) as soon as they got attached or got "happy" again.

14) Buddies attend your wedding so happily and will even help you out on your wedding day as bridesmaid if you request unless they have special reasons or event that day.

15) Buddies wont believe any random shit which other people said to sow discord between both of you; she will not believe; at the minimum, she will clarify with you


We're all made out differently so sometimes maybe you'll feel closer to A than B but A feel closer to B. It's really okay. Friends also have varying degrees of friendship but just be careful not to have these hypocritical bitches around you if possible. They're just not healthy. They might be a bunch of fun at times but you'll never know how detrimental they might be. And you'll regret when it happens. I've seen many examples.

There was one friend who was being raped by a male stranger who sent her back because she was drunk and her so-called buddy didnt care enough for her safety.

There was also one friend whose boyfriend broke up with her because her so-called buddy told her boyfriend some secrets which she shared with her.


If you really must hang out with them, then be extra careful.

Dont ever tell them your secrets and dont ever get drunk if you're out alone with her/them!!

I hope the simple tips or checklist above is useful to you. =)


Remember, having a 100 fake friends is no better than having 10 true friends. =)