Saturday, January 4, 2014
What a F* up Dec 2013 and Helllloooo the brand new 2014!
Dec 2013 was hell for me, I really......dont even know where to start from. Things happened too quickly. Dad's hospitalization came as a shock. It was really devastating to know from the doctor that his serious injuries had caused him a severe stroke and also landed him in a coma. And either he will pass on or he will wake up and be a vegetable. Both scenarios not at all positive. What's more heartbreaking is his injuries...which probably meant he suffered intense pain before he drifted into a coma. I...really dont wish to elaborate all over again because it means getting all the hard and sad feelings back and I'm not a person who loves to dwell over losses, as much as I'm very emotional and compassionate by nature. I pick up, I move on.
But frankly speaking it aint all easy. And I initially thought how hard can it be? Ultimately I haven seen my dad for a long time due to his separation from mum and let's just say we're not at all expressive, typical Singaporeans. I know I love him and I believe he loves me. Despite not exchanging calls or sms, believe it or not, I intend to take care of him after he's retired, just like how I plan for my mum as well. He has always been fit in my memories as he always do manual labour, hardly gets sick, I really never believe something so detrimental will happen to him one day.
I thank my friends for staying by me during this difficult period of time. I'm not one who like to burden friends with my problems and make the whole session gloomy and sorrowful. I simply tried hard not to think about it and enjoy the times with my friends. I was sorry when the dam of tears broke loose after a few rounds of booze though. The more comfort they gave, alas, the more I teared. But instead of feeling what a spoilt sport and literally "wet blanket" I was, they patted me and encouraged me to cry it all out because it'll feel better. Eventually I did, though I did stay away from booze from awhile...
Eventually dad passed on. The funeral and everything...sigh...let's not go into it. Appreciates all my friends and relatives who showed up. Appreciates all the calls and messages. Thanks for all the wreaths and flowers and prayers. It was such a festive month; so many couples had or having weddings, so many couples having baby showers, so many families and friends having gatherings. I do understand if some of you cant come, especially of the "superstitious" issues. No frets. Looking at all my friends' tired faces, some of them just touched down Singapore not long from their overseas trips, some came down after a late night family gathering or wedding dinner, I'm so touched; no words can even describe my gratitude. I know some of my closest friends cant come down due to some reasons and I totally understand. =) I can feel their heart. They say you'll know who are your real friends at a wedding; actually, more so at a wake too. Because more people are willing to share happiness than sorrow. =)
We also had a very fun wonderful Xmas eve pressies exchange party at a friend's house, who are so nice and totally had no qualms with having us(I dont know...some people do mind you visiting their house if family members died within 3 months...) In fact, because of this, I also didnt attend a colleague's wedding, which I think the elderly parents mind the superstitious belief of the red-white-events clash) I mean I totally understand =), and it's really fine for me to attend or NOT; it's really up to the individual. For example, one of my besties is getting married in Jan and she said she dont mind at all and urged me to attend her incoming wedding lunch. Another bestie is holding her precious bb shower in Jan and invited me despite knowing everything.
I'm just so touched and happy. =)
During the funeral, we all had little to sleep. For the following couple of days after the funeral, it's almost impossible to sleep. I was perfectly normal during daytime or when I'm out with my friends. But whenever the lights were out, on the bed, my tears just flowed like nobody's business. I posted on FACEBOOK to appeal for witness for my dad in his highly possible robbery case. Amazingly, from my small pool of friends, it got shared like wildfire and I'm so deeply touched by all the condolences messages from strangers. I mean, they say Singaporeans are so emotionless, so without compassion, I really beg to differ. A group of them are simply so warm and full of empathy. =)
And somehow I got so many calls and messages from the various newspapers, like Lian He Wan Bao, Xin Min Ri Bao, Lian He Zao Bao, The Straits Times and the New Paper. But the fastest person to get to me is the former 2 so I only spoke to them on phone. I wish more people can see this and understand Singapore is no longer safe. It's funny how the news people were adamant on meeting me and asking me how old am I, married or not, what job I'm doing. Seriously, I'm not matchmaking(相亲) nor yearning for attention and I find all this kinda amusing and exasperating when the questioning gets insistent.
My only intention is to appeal for witnesses as to who had seen my dad being assaulted and to urge all fellow Singaporeans to be CAREFUL. Because when I told my friends about it, all of them were like, "Assault? Robbery? In Singapore?" I was like, "Yessssss!" Some of them are completely oblivious and astounded as they couldnt believe something like that can happen in Singapore. Im telling you, yes it's happening and more bodies are uncovered everyday now! Just "Like" The Real Singapore and Stomp on facebook and you'll know much more things than you will know on yahoo and newspaper.
Many people are asking me about how the Singapore Police Force are doing. All I can say is, I'm very very disappointed with their attitude and their professionalism. I was warned not to say more on facebook or online because they will SUE me. Hur hur~ Seriously, if I'm saying the facts and the truth, how can you sue me?? BUT, I just dont wish to get into an array of disputes which might interfere with my dad's investigations and attract a whole lot of anti-PAP commenters who use my dad's issue to 借题发挥. FYI, I'm having very negative sentiments towards our gahmen on MANY issues but for the time being, I wish to focus on the more important matter at hand, which is, finding witness. I hope you too, if you're reading this. And of course, be vigilant. Like I said, do discourage your old folks from wearing valuables and try not to go out alone, especially late at night. Yeah some are stubborn and insists, you just try anyway. And always always call the police and go to a hospital immediately after being assaulted, no matter how minor the injuries may seem. Because sometimes you might under-estimate them. Old folks dont like to go hospital, please do educate them. I suspect my dad under-estimate his....and.............sigh............
I strongly strongly encourage every elderly to carry a long umbrella with them whenever they go. Hey dont laugh, I'm perfectly serious.
And by the way, I'm super pissed off that SGH only notify the police as well as us 2 DAYS after my dad got admitted. Such SERIOUS fractures(collarbone, and fractures of ribs which pierced through the lungs), to a normal layman, is such an OBVIOUS ASSAULT CASE, and they actually delayed a whole 2 days. Dont they know the golden 48hours are of vital importance to finding the killer...........Sigh.......
I know...as the days goes by....my hopes get diminished....I'm just consoling myself that there's karma in this world and the cruel assaulter will get his just desserts....
Sigh.... eventually I felt better....tears stopped flowing at night....only a feeling of sorrow which I brushed it off as soon as they are creeping in. Actually I meant to return the calls of the other newspapers but I was simply too emotionally and physically drained.....and when I'm about to call them back.....I wonder did the loss of appetite and lack of meals once again sparked the torturous abdominal cramps which I get once in a blue moon. And I got admitted to Mt Alvernia on 30th during the wee hours....scans and all that and an operation to remove the gallbladder decorated with stones and polyps was scheduled on the next day, 31st Dec 2014, New Year's Eve.
Seriously can things get more fucked up?? It was hell hell hell. I was so pain all the time that I'm begging for painkiller jabs one after another. I really got no choice. When I got better on the 2nd day after the op, I discharged myself. A total of 3 days 3 nights, total bill $12,000. Thank you very much.
So now I'm stucked with 3 ugly plasters on my stomach. Dont mock a keyhole surgery, still pain okie. I'm now walking like the hunchback of notre-dame who had just given birth. Thanks to all the friends who showed concern, all the getwell goodies, hampers and fruit baskets sent to the hospital/home. :)
And you know what...........I'm scheduled to fly on a business trip in less than 10 days time, which includes a wonderful teambonding game of Kpop dancing among my peers.
Our team is supposed to perform this, albeit a simpler(minus ALL the obscene and difficult parts) and shorter version.
Nice song eh~
But now, DANCE GE PI LAH!
I'll see how lah.
Although I'm not at all a great dancer, I do not wish to simply stand aside and do nothing. We're still a team. We'll see how la......thank god I'm not the main dancer so I dont have that much responsibilities and duties to perform perfectly....but as a team, I just wish to do a minimal part, maybe as a backdrop or shake abit or something...blearh...
TO A BETTER YEAR 2014!!!!
I wish all of you a safe and great year 2014 with abundance of happiness and wealth, in the pink of health!!
*Repeats* Singapore is NO LONGER safe. Stay alert!
Labels:
my feelings,
my views,
outbursts
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