If you are dealing with closed minded people, it may help you to understand - They do not hear. They will not listen. You cannot change them. They will not follow your logic. They believe what they want to believe.
Saw this on my friend's FB and I agree with both hands!
They do not hear.
They will not listen.
They will not change.
They will not follow your logic.
They believe what they want to believe.
And I may add; Close-minded people are (usually)always NEGATIVE
They take alot of things personally.
They take in everything from a NEGATIVE point of view, even though you dont mean anything negative.
They will NEVER think they're at fault ; the fault always lies on others
They never reflect on themselves
They believe if you do not agree with them, then you're against them
If you have such friends, then it's best to stay away from them if your mindset is not strong or your personality get swayed easily.
Because the more you mix with them, the more close-minded and negative you will become.
Eventually, you'll become just like them without noticing it.
I've nothing against them. Nothing's wrong with being close-minded or slightly more pessimistic because everyone's different and everyone's unique. For example, some people are less generous(you may call it stingy) while some people are more generous. Some people might be more reserved while some are friendly. I merely feel different environments make us the way we are(since young). And it's your mindset and the people you meet in later stages of your life which/who may change you. So I have nothing against (almost) any different types of personalities. I often try to see the goodness in different individuals. For example, I have few boastful friends(which some people buay tahan them, lol) but actually, they're pretty generous. =) Another example, I also have very blunt friends who says anything which comes to mind but I'm so grateful they're not hypocritical like some friends I have. They're so truthful. =)
So you see, nobody's perfect. Neither me.
HOWEVER, I simply feel it's very tiring to keep conversations with such close-minded and negative friends, without coming across as.....insensitive and blunt...offensive and god knows how many more negative traits they think of me, just because simply, anything you say, they will think in the negative direction. They feel I've have something against them, personally, OR I'm deliberately "shooting" them. How weird. Why would I??
Sometimes I repeat the same things I said, which somehow made a friend unhappy, TO dearie, "So if I say this to you, will you be angry?". I repeated in the same tone and even gave "background info" of the friend(so that dearie will understand the context which I said previously). Sometimes it might be a phone message.
Dearie said, "Huh, what's there to angry about? You mean, you said/text this and your friend got angry?"
Me: "Ya lo"
Of course.......I know I know....different people is different.......but really...I didnt expect it.
Well, I am frank, yeah, but I'll NEVER say anything IF I know VERY WELL that will make you unhappy or upset. Why would I purposely make you unhappy if you are my friend? It's never my motto to.....like.....put you down or get revenge that sorta thing. I'm a person who likes peace.
Sometimes I told dearie about some scenarios regarding a friend,
Dearie: Oh....you have the right to XXXX what........if she do all this to purposely dont let you XXXX(without you knowing) then you just purposely go XXXX la. Piss her off. Hahahaha!!
Me: Duhz...............why would I want to piss her off? If she not happy I XXXX then I will act as if I dont know everything......and dont XXXX lor..............
Simple as that. I will just avoid....making people unhappy, sometimes at my own expanse. Most of the time, it's not as if I dont know what's happening. I merely act as if I dont know, just so people are happy. I also dont need people to know or appreciate.......I believe sometimes...caring for a person.....you dont really need to let him/her know all the time. 他/她 开心就好了。
Although maybe sometimes I still do(make people unhappy)....they're really unintentional.
But back to the topic......why I feel it's TIRING to keep conversations or very close friendships with such friends is because I'm SUCH a frank person; I say things on my mind and sometimes I say it out faster than I can correct it.
And I dont say things which I dont mean it. Most of the times I gave compliments, even to strangers(scares them almost all the time) when I'm in a super good mood or has an inquisitive question. For example, "Hey(stranger), your perm very nice! Where you perm it huh?" Maybe because I'm in sales so I'm not afraid of approaching strangers.
And of course I'm NOT a klutz to say negative stuff bluntly....like, "Hey you gain alot of weight leh".......UNLESS that person say it HIMSELF/HERSELF FIRST. For example, "Wah lau......I gained so much weight lately lor........". Then the frank me will......"Haha ya...you do look like you gained abit huh.....aiya then cut down on supper la". Things like that~ I definitely wont say "No lah you didnt gain weight at all." UNLESS he/she really look like he/she didnt gain any weight.
经安排另一个人进入你的生命。=) 凡事皆注定。Everything happens for a reason. =)
All in all, I'm very glad dearie and me are on the same wavelength....although he said and I admit, I'm slightly more petty than him la. But I girl mah...naturally will be slightly more petty. Actually hor, I'm much more broad-minded than TONS of guys already...just that my man is just...amazingly good-tempered and broadminded with a good sense of humor; he hardly gets angry about anything. Zzzz [=.=]''''''''''''''''
Last night........we were at home and I was just standing close infront of him without tiptoeing and looking up at him in (fake)awe....with "innocent" eyes and smiling...... And he, for like the 1st time in a century, said to me, "Ahhh.........my sweet sweet wife...." then he smiled.
I was so shocked, "Wah.......you seldom call me like that one leh"
Dearie: Got lah. =)
Me: NoooOoo, you usually say 你这个贱人(slut)!!~ bla bla bla
Sometimes when he's in a siao-ding-dong mood, then he will jokkingly call me "贱人(slut)".
The funny thing is, I will still answer him, "What lah"
I'm also very "steady" right. =P
[=.=]''''''' My friends were appalled that he called me such, aiya but I know he's jokking mah and he only said it at home. Sometimes I call him the same too. Wahahahaha.
We're so weird right~