Do you love your GF enough to let her do this?
Posted on 16 September 2013 | 2481 views | 4 comments | 0 shares
(P/S After dearie saw my entry, he highlighted me on 1 error: "It should be, I love you far too much to let you do this for me. You know, it's like, I love you too much to hurt your feelings instead of I love you too much to NOT hurt your feelings. No need that word "NOT"." I was like, "Eh ya hor". But thankfully he said, "But I get your meaning lah, that's why I said that's what I thought too." Lol. Kekeke!)
From the way he answered and the way I know him, he meant it truly. =)
He's just far too blunt to say things which he dont mean it. You know, saggi leh~
I simply love our style of communication; we're just so frank, so open with each other. No hard feelings bottled up, anything we just put it on the table(and serve). Lol. =P
Everyday, I feel so blessed to have him in my life. =)
Have you told your loved ones that you love them today? =)
Recently a friend just told me the girl she likes just broke up with her boyfriend.
And I was saying,
"Ai seh! Your chance come liao. Faster go woo!!"
My friend: "Nahzz....I find it hard to communicate with her. Little things can get so angry and throw tantrum. Joking only mah. Why so sensitive? If as friends, communication already so difficult, how to become couple?"
Me: "But you like her alot right??"
My friend: "Like is one thing....everytime quarrel very sian one...I really buay tahan liao...you cant expect after we got together liao, then I everytime talk very carefully....or dont talk at all.....like this together for what? "
Me: "Ya true............."
My friend: "Everytime I got to stoop so low to apologise when I dont even feel I'm in the wrong....again and again, again and again. I'm really, really tired.........."
I remembered a friend told me this before, when I unknowingly made a friend angry over some insensitive remark;
"From now on, you can only talk less or dont talk at all, lest you unknowingly say wrong things and made her angry again....but like this, you also very miserable because always got to suppress your feelings...cannot express freely...like this also difficult la..."
Ya lo.......then might as well I cut down on meeting her......and even if I meet her whether in groups etc, I cant talk to her or mention anything in regards to her....And I thought....."Huh...if like this, might as well I dont meet, or dont join the gathering at all. [=.=]'''' And...if this continues....as much as I want to keep her as a friend, I think it's also difficult.....Sigh......
I can also say....我们不适合(做朋友)。Machaim BGR like that...haha...
But when you think about it, it's very similar and it's true.
I've never think that when a guy and girl cannot be together as a couple, it means neither party is at fault or not good enough etc. Sometimes it's just that they're not suited...personality/background etc etc. Same thing with friends. My friends either love me or hate me, I realized! Too bad she "hates" me...for now.... As much as I love her, and I also think she wanna (try to) accept me(else she wouldnt endure me for so long...she said the "grievances" were accumulative. =( ......
But I guess................SIGH.............it's really tough......
Actually I also believe there are some 小人(mean people) around who always like to 煽风点火(sow discord).......Although I'm just so disappointed at the turnout....I can only tell myself that it's probably my downfall that I fail to realize, to sense her unhappiness with me for all my insensitive remarks and nonsense all this while. Stupid.....
Because both of us has lost a friend who truly care for one another; (I care for her and I believe she also care for me......), now I truly wish she has friends who truly care for her like I do. Because I know I wont be around to keep a lookout for her anymore...if she got drunk or tipsy or care for her anymore.
Frankly speaking, 小人 are all around, sometimes it's difficult to differentiate. I think many people have eyes to see I truly care for her, but if that 小人 can 加盐加醋 in a very natural way to convince her further I'm deliberately "aiming" her, to encourage her to lose me as a friend, frankly speaking...that friend also cant be very kind...
It's like....if you see your friend quarrel with her spouse over some insensitive remarks or in short, a very small issue but YOU KNOW that actually they love each other and care for each other, wouldnt you help by saying,
"Aiya....maybe he dont mean it one. I'm sure he dont mean it in the negative way....why should he? You 2 had been through so much together...10+ years together...dont because of this small thing then ruin the relationship. You forgot how he was there for you when you need him?"
OR, would you say,
"Oh manz, he's damn insensitive and rude and offensive lor. I feel he's always targeting you and purposely want to make you paiseh one. Dont forgive him. Aiya, this kinda husband, dont want also nevermind. Find another one. Bla bla bla"
Of course you will say things like the former(1st one) right and not the ones in red right??!!! 正所谓，劝合不劝离。Moreover, it's reallllllyyyy not a big issue. Of course unless stuff like...IF I seduce my friend's hubby la, or sow discord between her and friends la, or bad mouth her reputation behind her la or used her whenever I need her but ignore her when I dont need her, THEN OF COURSE I deserve everything. BUT I DID NOT!
A friend who encourages you to do a wrong thing even though it sounds soothing to your ears AT THAT MOMENT(yes you got no fault at all, it's all your hubby's fault, he's in the wrong, go get a divorce) MAY NOT have your best interests at heart.
Sometimes, a friend who says the un-soothing words may just be the one who stops you from doing the wrong thing or decision;
"You sure your hubby meant it in the negative way? Or is it because you're too sensitive? Maybe he's just joking and didnt know you'll get offended. Anyway, aiya...it's also not a very big thing mah.....I'm sure he treasure the relationship and not purposely make you angry one."
I really felt soOoooOoo.............[?????????] sometimes.
Her exact words to me in message, "I think you always like to target me, also got people also think this way. Why you like to shoot me, you not happy with me or what. Why you always like to drag me in and shoot me?"
YA!! I was also thinking, YA WHYYYYYY??? WHY I WANT TO SHOOT YOU??? *Faints*
Kill people also need to have motive right?? What motive I have??
I introduced her to this group of friends, from this group of friends, she also know more friends. Everytime we got gathering, I ask her along. Through time, she know my friends better, they also add her to group chats and ask her along too. And I'm totally okay with it. NEVER once, that I join but didnt ask her. I ask her to join EVERY SINGLE TIME. But after that we realized she cant come out on weekdays so we stopped asking her on weekdays; but weekends we continue to jio her. Even when I'm meeting 1 or 2 guy or girl friends(friends she know) instead of 1 big group, I also jio her. I'm that close with her, I simply love to bring her along with me whoever I meet(so long so she's comfortable). I introduce her to my circle of friends. She ask me for the numbers of my girlfriends or guyfriends, I also give her. She asks them out without asking me along, I'm also fine. Sometimes we do meet up alone too. We know each other for more than 10years, she meant so much to me.
Now she say I like to shoot her, and target her? I was like why???
Do we like the same guy and thus fighting for attention? Hell no. We're both happily married and whole world knows it thanks to FB. Are we in the same trade and we fight for some promotion etc? No, we're not in the same trade and both very loved by our generous hubby so we dont have money issue. Is she closer to this group of friends than me? Some yes some no. Friends whom I know for a much longer time than her naturally will still be closer with me, that's just the usual simple logic. But let's just say, we got our own closer friends, like A friend/B friend/C friend are closer to her while all the others are closer to me. I dont see any issue here unless she feel it is(which I also dont think she feel so)
You may wonder; Is she prettier than me?
OF COURSE a 100% YES!!!
But the thing is, eh please lor, TONS of people are prettier than me.
Gra is prettier than me.
Suan is prettier than me.
Huey is prettier than me.
Lin is prettier than me.
Jes is prettier than me.
Shand is prettier than me.
Ser is prettier than me.
Lina is prettier than me.
Angi is prettier than me.
Von is prettier than me.
Phy is prettier than me.
Chris is prettier than me
Jov is prettier than me.
Ama is prettier than me.
PS is prettier than me.
Cel is prettier than me.
Kat is prettier than me.
Rain is prettier than me.
(For awhile, I almost want to put their pics down here, but I thought not very nice. Lol...machiam haolian I got pretty friends like that. =P)
Many many more, sorry due to time constraint, cannot put all the names down. PLEASE dont misunderstand I feel I'm prettier than you just because I didnt put your name!!! I dont mean that!!! Now I'm so f*cking paranoid that everything I blog or say or message must explain veryyyyyy clearly or put a disclaimer. *tired*
SOOOOOOO many girlfriends prettier than me!
So every pretty girl I go and target and shoot?
Then I very busy lor.
Then I dont have girlfriends liao lor.
But tell you, all these PRETTY girlfriends are my GOOD and BEST friends! If you're in my FB then you'll know most of my girlfriends are so pretty and I'm equally close to them, thanks so much that they dont mind a simple plain Jane like me. *feeling blessed again*
Really...........Why would I want to target you and shoot you???
You're one of my longest friend and one of the very best whom I hold dear. I remember very clearly who stood by me when I'm at my lowest and you're one of them. Why would I purposely hurt someone who care for me? I'm not dumb! Good friends are just so hard to come by. Most of them only come to you after they broke up or when they need you but simply MIA when they're happy with their lives again. I'm also used to it. It's hard to get a real friend these days and I always treasure them very much. There's almost no reason on earth that I will ever give you up as a friend, unless you choose to give me up first or unless I've tried anything to keep the friendship but it just doesnt work.
I suppose she's tired....
But actually I am too...
Have a great week guys............